The last two and a half weeks have been the most heartbreaking of our lives. Our dear friends Amy and Erik lost their four year old son Finn on November 7. How a simple diagnosis of croup could turn into such a nightmare has been hard to understand. Amy and Erik truly amaze me, in a time of such heartache and sorrow they thought of others and chose to make Finn an organ donor. Finn will live on in not only our hearts and memories but in the lives of the four recipients as well as their families and friends. 

I have struggled with many questions the last few weeks. I understand that God did not cause this to happen and he never promised that we would not live in a harsh world. He promised to be with us through it all, though there have been times that I have felt very angry and alone. To try to deal with these feelings I have decided to start a blessings journal. I plan to write down the things that I am thankful for and the blessings that are in my life. When the bad days happen I will be able to look back and see God’s presence in our life and remember that He is there even when we don’t feel His presence.

It has been a challenge to look forward to this holiday season. It feels very strange that life is moving forward when so many people are feeling such sadness and pain.  I follow a blog of Caitlyn Littrell, who is a young mother and wife who is fighting breast cancer. She recently lost her mother to breast cancer and posted about preparing for the first Christmas without her mom.  She stated in her blog “The story of baby Jesus is so much more than the simple "Away in a Manger" we've grown up on.  This was a huge step in God's battle against death.  By sending his son in the form of a baby, he put the Easter story into motion and rang the victory gong against separation between him and his creation.” She then goes on to say “Paul reminds us to encourage each other with the reminder that we will be together with those who have died, and "we will be with the Lord forever" (1 Thessalonians 4:17).  This hope helps us to heal.  So remember that this Christmas is a celebration of God's plan that began the journey in which I get to see my mother again, in which we all have the gift of eternal life if we will but accept it and in which we have been granted access to God who can handle whatever we throw at him in our grief.  And He will literally wrap his arms around us as the winds of pain tear at our hearts.”  During this Christmas season I am going to focus on “the promise that came wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger” and that we will get to be with sweet Finn again.

We went home to Klamath to be with our families and friends during this difficult time. We wanted and needed to be with the Nobel’s and Hathaway’s and be able to attend Finn’s celebration of life. As tough as this time was it was a reminder of how important our families and friends are. My first entry in my blessing journal will be how lucky we are to be surrounded by such wonderful and loving people. Not everyone is lucky to have such an amazing group that can be truly called family.

One of my favorite pictures of sweet Finn. I love his smile and that you can still see his rosy red cheeks even though the picture is black and white.

Medicine Lake after Finn's ashes were scattered.

An amazing group of people that I consider family. I love that Jens, Finn's big brother, is in the middle of the picture surrounded by everyone.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween was a lot of fun this year. Owen was very excited about his costume and to go Trick or Treating. He still loved answering the door and handing out candy. I would love to know how he decided how much candy to hand out. Some kids only got one piece and others got a handful. Unfortunately, we didn't get many kids at our house. The block that we live on is a little more quiet and it seems like most of the kids stay on the other side of School St. Thankfully the weather was beautiful, cold but beautiful. We had some strong winds from Hurricane Sandy but they seemed to diminish by the afternoon. 

Carving pumpkins

Owen wanted to T-Rex and a Stegasaurus

Owen drew the faces on the tall pumpkin and the littlest pumpkin then we carved them. I think he did a great job!

He was so excited to be a T-Rex. I think he will be wearing this around the house all winter!

"ROAR"

Dinosaurs and Popcorn, two of my favorite things!

Our first house.

Owen and Brian returning from trick or treating. Claire and I went around our little block with them but it was a little to cold for her, so we returned home to hand out candy while Brian and Owen finished trick or treating.

Owen's "Loot".  He had a few pieces of candy that night but had completely forgot about it by the next morning. I realize that we won't be so lucky next year!

It seems like we are getting into a good routine and are really settling into life as a family of 4. Owen just started another session of Art Class, which he loves. I have been going to a Mom's Bible Study at our church which has been really nice. It has been great to get to know other stay at home moms and meet more church members. Kayla, our babysitter, has been coming one morning a week to watch Owen for a few hours. We started using her this summer so that Owen would not have to go to all of my doctors appointments and it has worked out so well that we decided to continue using her. Owen absolutely loves when she comes and it is nice to not have to take Owen to appointments Claire or I might have, grocery shopping or to stand in line to vote next week.

Claire is doing really well. She is really starting to be more awake during the day and it has been fun watching her personality start to develope. She is starting to smile and is working really hard at learing to coo and talk. It is so fun to have her smile when she looks at us and to hear the stories that she has to tell.  She is doing a great job sleeping at night. She usually goes down between 11 and 12 and usually gives me a 3-4 hour stretch before she wakes up to nurse. We are usually up for about an hour and then she will sleep for another 2 before we are up with Owen for the day. I am so thankful that she is giving me that much sleep!

Owen is a funny little boy. We are constantly playing dinosaurs. Every game seems to revolve around a dinosaur activity. We are building nests or houses for them with wooden blocks, feeding them nuts and trees with the Lincoln Logs, driving them on tractors to pumpkin patches or bigs ponds. Owen usually announces "I have an idea"then tells us how to play.  His favorite "idea" is for him to turn into a t-rex and stomp down the stairs while Brian or I play with his dinosaurs. He then usually comes and knocks them all over... boys! 

Classic Owenism that happened tonight at dinner:

"Here's your water Momma" as he is passing me my big Starbucks water cup that is empty.

"It's empty"

"I drank it all"

"Its in my tummy" :) I love the things that he comes up with.

Brian and I are doing well. He has been able to hire a few new people to his team which will be able to help lessen his work load once they are fully trained. Hopefully he won't have to be putting in so many late nights in the future.  He has also playing in a Wednesday night basketball league which is fun. Today was a big day for me as I packed up all of my maternity clothes. I am so excited to wear jeans with buttons and zippers again. I also was able to clean off the treadmill. My goal is to take the kids down to the basement in the afternoons and get a walk in. Owen loves playing with the toys in the basement and I can wear Claire in the ergo carrier. I would really like to start losing weight, so I hope by posting that here it will provide me with a little more motivation! :)

We will leave you with a few pictures.... 

Owen was a big help raking leaves....

Until he decided to shovel the pile on his slide... :)

This is a picture of the waves hitting the north pier on Lake Michigan that our newspaper took. We got a lot of wind from Sandy and it was amazing how high the waves were. It looked and sounded like the Oregon Coast. The only thing missing was the briny ocean smell...

Claire having some tummy time. She is doing a good job lifting her head. She can lift it quite a bit higher, I just was not able to catch it on camera.

Claire found her fingers. Maybe she would like them better than a paci....

Talking on the phone to Grammy. She got really quiet and still then started to smile and coo.

I love how big her hair gets after her bath. It stands straight up! It will be interesting to see what happens with it. So far she was not lost any, she doesn't even have a bald spot on the back of her head  yet. I never lost my hair when I was a baby so I am hopeful she will be the same.

I just love those chubby little fingers.  :)

Go Beavs! Thanks to Auntie Steph for sending this!  I love that you can see her dimples in this one.

Hedlund Family Vacation

This past weekend our last round of visitors came for a visit.  Emilie, Steve, Lauren and Jacqueline were here for a long weekend of fun. It was so nice to have them here and show them our world in Wisconsin. We left when the girls were about 6 months old so we have not had the chance to really spend time together. It was so much fun watching Owen play with his cousins and really get to know the girls. Both Brian and I were surprised at how big they are. They are no longer babies... they are big girls with fun personalities! I can't express how wonderful it was to be able to spend time with all of them.

The Hedlund's arrived late on Thursday night. It sounded like the girls did wonderful on the flights. The girls woke up after they arrived and were able to meet Claire. 

The next morning I had to remind Owen that sneak attacking our guest was not allowed! He was really excited to see them.  Friday was a pretty low key day for us. Em and I took the kids for a stroller/wagon ride around the neighborhood in the morning. It was drizzling outside so we were not able to spend much time playing outside. The Kohler Food and Wine Festival was going on so Brian and Steve were able to go to the Rum, Vodka and Gin tasting that afternoon.

On Saturday, Em and I went to the America's Test Kitchen Demonstration to see Christopher Kimball, Bridget Lancaster and Jack Bishop.  Jack did an olive oil taste test, Christopher showed us their favorite kitchen gadgets and they all participated in Q &A.  The America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook is a favorite for both Em and I so it was fun to see them in person. Of course I now have a list of some new kitchen gadgets that I really need!  One of our favorite things was listening to Jack's snicker. He sounded like a cross of John Crier's character on Two and a Half Men and Ernie from Sesame Street, pretty classic. After the demonstration we were able to visit a few shops before heading home.

Sunday we went on an adventure to Bulitz Pumpkin Farm. The kids had a great time feeding the animals, riding ponies, going on a hayride and picking pumpkins. Jacqueline was very excited about riding the pony and was very proud of herself when she was riding by herself. That afternoon Brian and Steve went to the Packer Tailgate Party at the festival. Steve rocked his Ram's jersey (the Packers were playing the Rams) and was the only Ram's fan there.

Monday was another low key day. Em and I took the kids on another walk and Brian and Steve played golf at Whistling Straights. Whistling Straights will be hosting the PGA Championship in 2015 and the Ryder Cup in 2020. Thankfully the weather held out for them and the torrential downpour didn't happen until they were back home.

Steve, Em and the girls left on Tuesday morning to spend a few days in Chicago. Even though we didn't go on a ton of adventures it was a wonderful weekend. It was nice to be at home and have the kids play together.  Just being able to spend time together was great.  Owen did fairly good sharing his toys... the girls got a good dose of dinosaurs, blocks and tractors! They all loved "cooking" in Owen's kitchen together and eating together on his little table. 

  

The house seems very quiet now, it always takes me a few days to adjust to life without house guests.  I loved having L and J (and their parents) here and it just isn't as fun around here without them! Owen really enjoyed having them here to, he keeps asking if they are going to come back tomorrow. To be completely honest, I am relieved that we are not going to have visitors for a little while. As much as I love having family here I am really tired of saying goodbye...

Here are a few pictures from the weekend.

Meeting Claire on Thursday night.

Lauren was excited to hold Miss Claire. This picture really doesn't do it justice. I do love crazy Owen in the background....

Even though this shot is blurry it is one of my favorite. You can just tell that Lauren is so pleased  holding Claire.

Auntie Em holding Claire

 

Lauren loved to help, even if it was a diaper change! She is a little mother....

I love this picture of Lauren. When Owen met L and J for the first time he was about the same age as they are now. He loved sitting in their bouncy seat so it is very appropriate that they sat in Claire's!

Bath time is much more fun with L and J supervising!

Our little mother making sure Claire is okay! Anytime Claire cried Lauren would hand me her pacifier and point to the chair. She also liked helping pat Claire on the back.

All of the kids showing up their "moves." It cracks me up that Lauren is standing on her head without her hand on the ground.

America's Test Kitchen Demonstation

I had Christopher Kimball autograph my cookbook.

Feeding the goats at the pumpkin farm.

Lauren riding the pony.

Jacqueline was so pleased to be riding by herself! She just beamed!

A rare family shot.

Getting ready for the hayride. 

Can they get any closer to the tv? Not our best parenting moment.... :)

L in her momma's shoes.

A family of 4...

Good grief! Claire is 5 weeks old and we still have not updated the blog.... it is amazing how fast time is going by and how little we accomplish now that we have 2 little ones. Things in the Hedlund household are busy, busy, busy these days. I think that we all have adjusted to our new normal and life is good. Owen is doing great as a big brother. He ignores Claire 95% of the time but is concerned when she cries or is laying on the floor. There have been a few times that he has wanted me to leave Claire upstairs and go downstairs with him... I am sure that will happen more and more as she grows. :)

So here is a recap of the last 5 weeks of our life...

My parents arrived the Saturday before Claire was born to help take care of Owen while we were in the hospital and then help me recover after we came home. It was wonderful to have my parents here those two week and to be able to share that special time with them. On Monday morning Brian and I went to the hospital at 10 and then my parents and Owen showed up around 11. It was a nice distraction having them waiting in the room with us.  Not quite the Babygater that we had with Owen but it was nice all the same.

The surgery went by really fast for me. Both Brian and I were in shock when my doctor announced it was a girl.  My pre/post-op room was right across the hall from the surgery room so Owen and my parents were able to hear Claire cry when she was born (while we were in the hospital Claire was known for how loud she would cry. Her pediatrician commented that she was " quite vigorous"after the first time he met her). Brian was able to bring Claire back to the room immediately and introduce her to Owen and my parents.

   

Owen holding Claire for the first time.

I was surprised at how hard it was being away from our family and good friends after Claire was born. Not being able to introduce her to everyone in person was very hard for me, but thank goodness for technology!  A very special thank you to Ron and Deanna for printing pictures of Claire and bringing them to my Gram.  Everyone else was able to recieve pictures via email or text messages. It was wonderful for my Gram to see pictures of Claire within a few hours of her birth.

One of my favorite pictures from the hospital.  Love her hair!

Unfortunately, we were still in the hospital on Owen's birthday. We had a birthday party in the hospital complete with dinosaur cupcakes.

Owen's birthday family photo.

We were released from the hospital on Thursday and it was wonderful to be home!  On Saturday Brian, Owen and my dad went to Quarry Quest.  A quarry outside of Oshkosh opens one Saturday a year for a charity fundraiser. Last year we took Owen to it and he was excited to go again.  Claire had her two day appointment at the hospital so Mom and I stayed behind. 

Owen riding the excavator.

We celebrated Owen's birthday on Sunday. After he had such a good time at the monster truck show we decided to have a monster truck/dinosaur cake.  Dinosaurs seemed to be the theme of his birthday this year. I think he might love them as much as his tractors.

   

The following week with my parents was pretty low key. Owen went on many adventures with my dad. Highlights included catching 2 crawdads and Owen's first successful fishing trip. My mom, Claire, Owen and I met some friends at one of our local park. It was great to do something normal with Owen.

Owen loved reading books before bed with my parents.  He requested that they do it in their bed... and I was not allowed in the room.

Owen, Papa and his first fish!

Brian's parents arrived on Saturday and on Sunday, September 23, we had Claire baptized. It was nice to have both sets of grandparents present for her baptism.  My sister (in-law) Stephanie is Claire's Godmother and Brian's good friend Jason is her Godfather. This was another bitter sweet day being away from family. Her baptism took place at the 10:30 service.  Keeping with family tradition, she wore that baptism gown that was made for my Gram's sister. Everyone in my family, except my dad, has been baptized in it. Our church, First United Lutheran has a baptism fountain in the gathering area outside of the sanctuary.  They have a tradition that every person that has been baptized has a shell placed in it. Owen was able to put (I should say throw) her shell into the water. After Claire's baptism we all went to brunch for a mini-celebration.

                                     

Claire being baptized.

One positive thing, family shots were a lot less complicated this time! :)

On Monday, my parents left for home. I am realizing that goodbyes will never be easy for me. I thought that they would get easier over time, but I am realzing that just isnt the case.  I am so thankful for technology. FaceTime and Skype help close the distance some....

I jokingly call Monday the Changing of the Guards. My parents left and Brian's parents moved in. It was wonderful to have them here.  It was a great transition week for me, I was able to start making dinner and doing things around the house again without having to worry about what Owen and Claire were doing.

Owen went on lots of adventures with Papa too.  They went fishing at Woodlake and then Gary taught Owen how to eat an ice cream cone.  Owen also got to tennis lessons with Brian and Gary.

We went to the Craverie to celebrate Gary's birthday. Owen helped blow out the candle. The next day Brian and Gary went to see the Packer's beat the New Orleans Saints.

On Monday, October 1 Mary Beth and Gary left. As sad as it was to have all of our company gone it was wonderful to start figuring out what life would be like as a family of 4.  We dove feet first into normal life. We have had multiple adventures to parks, started Art Class again, began Sunday School and a mom's bible study. I remember just sitting at home rocking Owen for the first month... so totally different with your second!  Thankfully I am much more relaxed this time around and have been really able to enjoy this time with Owen and Claire. Granted, there have been those rough moments when Owen doesn't want to go down for a nap and Claire is yelling loudly, but overall life is really good. :)

Playing at the park. 

Art Class.

Last weekend we went to the farm that our produce from our CSA came from.  They had a harvest party in which all of the subscribers were able to go to the farm. It was neat to see where all of our produce came from. Owen loved picking rocks from the field, feeding the pigs, chasing the chickens and playing with the other kids. He also caught his first "frog".  It really is a toad but he insisted it was a frog.

He is quite pleased...

On Sunday we went to the local pumpkin patch. Owen fed the animals, rode a pony and bounced in a bouncy house. We all went on a hay ride and picked pumpkins in the pumpkin patch.

Owen thought this was a good size. The other pumpkins were too big.

Owen showing Claire how to play.

I loved this picture of Claire. I would never buy a tutu myself but this was a gift from one of our neighbors whose daughter lived in a tutu for a few years.